Revising Writing

Instructions

Read over this piece of writing. Change it so that it makes sense and so it sounds exciting. You can delete sentences and change words in the writing so that it can be enhanced. Try not to take the meaning away from the writing.

My Edited Piece of Writing

On Saturday I went to my Papa's, Aunts, and Uncles house going to Halloween. When I saw my Papa he was dressed up in a spooky zombie and I was dressed up as a purple bat. I was ready for Halloween. Me and my Papa were going around houses asking for lollies.

Once I went to a house that was very black and very spooky. My Papa got scared and I told him don’t worry it is just a house full of decorations.  There was spiderwebs, bats and witch decorations. I knocked on the door and out came a ghost man. The lady gave us sweet lollies. I said to them, I will go down to that house that wasn't spooky. It only had spiders and a black witch broom. I knocked on the door and out came a black witch. The lady gave us some chocolate. They also gave us a chocolate candy pumpkin.

When we stopped at Kings Road, I saw my friend Zara and her Dad Babu. They were going trick or treating for yummy treats too. Me and my Papa were walking to Zara. We asked her if we could come with you to get yummy treats. Zara said yes. When we stopped down at the cafe. we had a hot chocolate and a strawberry cupcake. We went back down to Coral Cress. We had to go to another house. For trick or treating we saw another house that was even scarier. I said happy trick or treating. Out came a spider that was a man. He gave us lollies and chocolates. It was fun on Halloween day. We had to go home. I said bye to my friend Zara. Then we went home and eat all the goodies.

Yesterday and today I have been working with Julite and Nyjah and cascer with the Revising writing we fixed up the person mistakes like capital letters in the wrong place and full stops and the wrong place we have edited the writing and corrected it on our on our edited pice of writing we have done.